


Eye of the Beholder

by firewolfsg



Category: Merlin (BBC)
Genre: Crack, Fucking Machines, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-19
Updated: 2010-04-19
Packaged: 2017-10-09 01:08:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/81363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firewolfsg/pseuds/firewolfsg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur found a wonderful new toy in Merlin's laboratory...</p><p>Written for the <a href="http://kink-bingo.dreamwidth.org/"><b>Kink!Bingo</b> community on DW</a> Prompt: Fucking Machines</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eye of the Beholder

Arthur was bored. The visitors he had scheduled for that afternoon sent word that they had been unexpectedly delayed. He had already trained with his Knights and he could not consider training yet again. It had already been a very punishing session that morning, and as much as his Knights loved him, Arthur knew he was likely to be faced with outright mutiny if he inflicted anymore training upon the men.

On top of all that, Merlin wasn't available to amuse him either since he had taken advantage of Arthur's appointment to go on a long put off herb gathering mission to replenish his stores. So that left Arthur at loose ends with nothing to occupy him until supper.

Unconscious as his wanderings were, Arthur soon found himself outside Merlin's work shop. Standing at the door, the King contemplated entering and poking around his lover's laboratory. It wasn't like Merlin would be annoyed with him. As long as Arthur didn't touch anything that was quite obviously an ongoing experiment, or break any of the unused equipment Merlin wasn't overly protective of his working space. And he did always mark out the stuff which was dangerous or potentially embarrassing.

(Arthur hadn't yet quite got over the time he was turned into a white rat after he touched an interesting looking carving Merlin had had on his table. Gwen almost killed him with a broom when she saw him on Merlin's desk, and she spent the following week apologising profusely to Arthur and telling him that he really was quite an adorable and handsome rat, but well—instincts being what they were... He'd had to spend the day hiding in one of Merlin's pockets for protection from the castle exterminators, and Merlin had just gone on and on at Arthur about touching cursed objects he was studying while the sorcerer frantically consulted with Gaius and Geoffrey and ransacked Camelot's restricted library for the counter curse. Thereafter, Arthur was never quite sure whether to be amused or insulted with the huge signs and warnings that Merlin started to leave around his more dangerous experiments.)

However, today, there didn't seem to be anything particularly noteworthy in Merlin's laboratory. Well—apart from the sizable contraption that appeared to occupy a good third of Merlin's huge desk.

Arthur thought it an unusual machine with all its gears, belts, pulleys and tubes. A bucket and chain caught his attention, and really—Arthur couldn't resist the temptation to pull on the chain. After all, Merlin didn't leave any 'do not touch' signs on it.

So he pulled on the chain, and then watched with some fascination when water poured from the bucket into a container at the top of the machine. The water travelled down a tube and dripped on a turning wheel. It was apparently the driving force necessary to crank on a device which tightened a spring that pulled back a horizontally positioned blunt stick. Upon hitting a catch, the stick was then sent thrusting forward. And the process repeated.

Arthur watched it for a moment, fascinated as the stick was drawn back until the spring hit the catch again and release it to send the stick thrusting forward at a steady rhythm. He noticed another couple of chains and with some manipulation, found he was able to vary the speed and force of the thrusting stick. And it was then that a glimmer of an idea flashed through the King's mind and sent him scurrying back to the Royal suites for their toy box.

Arthur quite quickly returned with one of their favourite sex toys and slicked the wooden phallus up with oil before securely tying it to the device. Then he made sure to carefully clear the rest of Merlin's table because he well knew that he'd never hear the end of it if he broke or messed up anything in Merlin's laboratory.

With that out of the way, Arthur removed his clothes and lay on the table; carefully positioning himself and wiggling into place to have the dildo fully embedded in him when at rest. Then lying back, Arthur took a deep breath before he started pulling on the chains to send the water cascading into the catchment on the top of Merlin's splendid fucking machine.

*~*~*

"Arthur!" His lover's outraged scream rudely interrupted Arthur's haze of lust and pleasure.

His eyes fluttered open to stare up at the sorcerer who stood haloed in the light of the setting sun streaming through the windows. Was it that many hours later? Arthur couldn't help the silly satiated smile of the truly fucked stupid. "I thought you loved me, and here you've been hiding the most wonderful toy—"

"That—that—that's not a sex toy!" Arthur could only blink dazedly at the expression of outrage and embarrassment on Merlin's face. "Arthur—I made it on cook's request. That—that—it's—it's a—a—a meat tenderiser!"

A what?

*~*~*

Oh. Oooohhhh.

Now that Merlin had returned the whole mechanism to the vertical position he had intended it to be, Arthur could see and understand how this machine was supposed to work. It could not be clearer when Merlin attached the metal plate of spiky protrusions (which the King swore he hadn't noticed earlier) in the place where Arthur had tied the dildo, and later demonstrated to the grateful cook and her assistants how the machine could help them give the slabs of meat a good swift pounding before they whisked the stakes away for seasoning and cooking. And yes, the meat dishes that emerged from the kitchens since then could not have been more mouth meltingly tender and delicious.

However, this wasn't something the poor sorcerer could immediately appreciate since he was so mortified over Arthur's use of his invention his stomach was decidedly delicate for the few weeks after he delivered the machine to the kitchens. As his attentive lover, Arthur made sure to surreptitiously fill Merlin's plate with vegetables instead of meat during meals and to ply him with plenty of fruits and sweets to ensure he did not starve.

There was, unfortunately, very little that Arthur could say to persuade his Court Sorcerer to build another machine like it just for their personal use. Still, it wasn't too bad since Merlin greeted all attempts to bring up the most excellent 'fucking machine' with a determined pounce and a subsequent pounding that left Arthur requiring a cushion on his throne for audiences the following day.

All in all, that wasn't too awful an outcome, although it didn't stop the King from hopefully poking around his lover's lab whenever he had an opportunity to. After all, Arthur thought the whole episode demonstrated his superior imagination for creatively thinking outside the box. And one never knew when he might discover better uses for Merlin's inventions than their intended purpose.

~end~  
Hope that was fun.  
Thanks for reading.  
Cheers, firewolf


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